Help! I dont think im ever going to be able to stop!? 10 points?

well Yesterday my mother was driving me to school. as I got in the car my dog was in there and he had his Leash on and it slashed on my arm . and no I have a huge burn on my arm. and my dog got out of the car because I ddint close the door quick enough( and he jumps really fast). and my mom started yelling at me and blaming things on me all the way to school ( the dog came back in) she called me a *****, a freak and a loner. and used every name in the book to degrade me. so when I arrived at school I was crying and my Principal noticed and he asked me whats wrong and I told him about my mom yelling at me and then sent me to the school consular. and so I told her about her about what happened to my arm and my mom blaming me and yelling at me( but I didn't tell her exactly what she said to me) and she told me my mom is just blaming for her problems( whatever they may be). and later that nigh she saw my burn and told me to put lotion on it so i did, and it started blistering and burning at I was like ow! and then my dog kept biting my other smaller dog skye and I yelled at him really loud to quit and I pulled him off of her. ( he chews at her but not where she had serious injury) and then my mom yelled SHUT UP YOU ******* FREAK! and then I told her what I was yelling about! and shes like SHUT UP , I DONT CARE YOU ARE A ******* FREAK. AND THEN I SAID WHO DO YOU THINK I GOT IT FROM IF I AM A FREAK? AND SHES LIKE AT LEAST IM NOT A LONER LIKE YOU!( idk where she gets this idea im a "Loner" i have friends that i talk to and interact with i dont just sit in the corner and ignore people) and the IM LIKE OH YEAH WHATEVER IM A FREAK AND A LONER MMHMMM) ( in a sarcastic voice) AND THEN SHES LIKE YOU ARE WHAT YOU ARE, YOU *****! I lost it then then i went to the bathroom I took 13 painkillers( 325 mg each) i have been taking them when she makes me upset( 4-7 at a time) and I dont know when i am going to be able to stop. I wish I would have died last night but no I cant ever get that lucky. and my mom verbally and physically abused me since I was born, I remember her hurting me at a young age so i am assuming she hurt me when i was a baby 2. and i have no where else to go. and nobody loves me or cares enough about me to help me. and i feel a bit addicted to the painkillers but not badly addicted. I treid everything to cope sleeping, crying music. and it never works it used to but it doesnt really anymore. oh yeah and im sorry about the language but that how it went down, plz dont report.