Is this weird for a kid to do?

i am in middle school and i stay highly depressed i knew i majorly needed to go to the consular but i was to shy to ask my teacher well, i wright alot of depressing things and i had something basically saying i wanted to die. i wrote my name on it and left it on the class room floor purposely knowing that my teacher pics up anything off the floor she sees. i knew if she saw it shed get me sent to the consular so that was my Solution. i left the paper and then switched classes i didn't end up going to the counselor cuz of it today she came and got me at the end of math class. i felt so weird tho. is it weird i did this just to go to the consulars office i mean i know i could have asked my teacher but still is it that weird? the paper said kill me please with a knife through a broken heart....