Why doesn't this girl like me?

I'm a sophomore in college and I really like this one girl. She has a big butt. One time, right before she sat down in class, I snuck up behind her and shoved a pencil up her butt. She screamed, turned around and slapped me. All I was trying to do was make her laugh. I ask her out every day, she always says no, so I pee on her and call her a rettard. If I ask her out in class and she says no to me then I throw my shoes at her. I know where she sleeps, so sometimes I sneak in to the dorm and slide in next to her, but she just turns around and slaps me. If she ever slaps me and it hurts, then the next morning, I go poopy poop in my toilet, and then put it in a bag, and then throw it at her. I know I can be a little mean sometimes but come on can't she take a little joke and laugh for once. poiequrapoqjkqopiwer